Friday, October 9, 2009

Until Death

Inside us all there hides a lie. A secret. It runs deep beyond a facade built from deception. It’s buried so deep inside the pits of the mind that it is hidden from all. It is kept hidden so well for long enough that in time we consider what truth is? It is locked away. We deceive. We lie to ourselves. The lie then becomes truth where in the mind it manifests. It taunts and beckons the truth and in time we are exposed. The ridicule and torment. The pain and suffering. The judgement. All we tried to run from now rules us. It consumes us. Suffocates us.

I lead a double life, wrapped in the comfort of my own minds making, where I have become impenetrable to hurt. I’ve deceived and manipulated, tormented and angered those around me to conform to my ideology. Success. What happens when my power crumbles? My facade is penetrated? My lie discovered... The end?

Irreparable damage, mind body and soul forever tainted by the reveal. How do we continue? The ramped paranoia that becomes daily life. Petrified to exist beyond the safety of four walls inside we crumble. We fall apart. We die.

The question is, do we continue?

How do I push beyond the hurt and devastation to exist once more? Inside I am broken. Can I continue? An echo of the end becomes a melodic failure flawed by selfishness. In death I drift. The melody carries me above and beyond. Fly free.

What is left of you?

Losing control of your desire your hope is fleeting and you can’t abstain. You fall behind. You fade. You’re a memory. Just like me...

Tell me now, where is your secret taking you?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Deleria

Time has passed yet even a word from you and my life turns upside down. The more I think. The stronger I feel. The more I hurt. Solace is found in closed minds as behind these eyes hide deceipt and lies that stem from you. I cant let you go no matter how I try. Scared. Hurt. Alone? Yes I am all but nothing without you.

Something new and like a child I forget. For now it seems endless but not as I've experienced.

You seem different. Too different. Mismatched?

Your not to blame ...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Affirmation

Shattered. Like a million pieces. Each shard a reflection of my past cutting like daggers to my heart. Hopelessness. The one. The only, gone forever? How I wish things were different how I wish you'd be mine. My feelings for you. Unchanging. Undying. How I long to tell you these feelings. Fear... Feelings unmet? Undesired? Unreciprocal?...

Feelings aside are rested in logistics. I care not about logic. I care not about distance.

A kiss that had sealed my fate. Trapped.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Gravity

Released. That kiss it’s feeling lingering ... everlasting. Seventy-seven... The days age and so do I. Its existence looming. Theres not enough. It’s precious. What of the future? Everything fades... Will your memory? Dry your eyes... your voice reprimanding. Time will tell us. Care not about the past ... Care only about this moment and what is left... I’m pulled to your feet. I have fallen.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Transfiguration Part II

Salvation has found me. Reprieve no longer my enemy. Freedom as blissful as I’d only dreamt as if those dreams themselves dispersed into reality. Like the war on terror the idea of battle was imaginary. It all started with a kiss... That sealed our fate. It's lingering hold. I cannot forget.
Do people lie behind closed doors? Those thoughts projected not the intention imposed? In time all shall be revealed. But for now... Imago. My final stage has been reached and my potential limitless

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Transfiguration Part I

Anticipation draws us ever closer to the battle's forefront. Digression strays us. Wave goodbye to whom you thought you knew. Waves of emotion create fear in the unknown and a struggle to continue forth. There’s one constant. The kiss that has awakened me. I'm now exposed with one option remaining. IF it is indeed our true self we crave to release from our internal prison then why does such desire not overcome our fear? Why do we hide in the comfort of the known? Like a kiss will it take away my world - the one's I love? Evidently the days are passing and I can hear the battalion approaching. The travesty. Steadily I approach grenade in hand.

Do I pull the pin? Will love prevail?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Deconstruction of Self

It all starts with a kiss... That seal of fate. It's lingering hold. That shame and guilt. YES it all starts with a kiss my friends and it was a kiss that unravelled the true colours of my identity. Sheltered and deprived of expression, my lips too have cried for reprieve and found salvation only in my dreams. Not only can a kiss bring such beauty to this world and mark my words it does, but with it too can bring a world of hurt. For that connection, that sense of belonging becomes our world and without acceptance we're sure to crumble.
The discovery of our true being is what we yearn for. In time it shall be revealed and all that we know today becomes a vacant memory.

If it all starts with a kiss then why can only a kiss take so much away?