Departure 415

Doomed in a history subject to repitition, lay the shards of glass that are my broken heart.

Naivity holds truth in the disbelief in self worth. Red lights and boom gates mock me, a poetic reiteration of what I cannot have. Happiness.

Security.

Love.

Reveal to me my true self, standing amongst the haze of lights, a minute too late and now forced to repeat until fortunate death do us part.

Until Death

Inside us all there hides a lie. A secret. It runs deep beyond a facade built from deception. It’s buried so deep inside the pits of the mind that it is hidden from all. It is kept hidden so well for long enough that in time we consider what truth is? It is locked away. We deceive. We lie to ourselves. The lie then becomes truth where in the mind it manifests. It taunts and beckons the truth and in time we are exposed. The ridicule and torment. The pain and suffering. The judgement. All we tried to run from now rules us. It consumes us. Suffocates us.

I lead a double life, wrapped in the comfort of my own minds making, where I have become impenetrable to hurt. I’ve deceived and manipulated, tormented and angered those around me to conform to my ideology. Success. What happens when my power crumbles? My facade is penetrated? My lie discovered... The end?

Irreparable damage, mind body and soul forever tainted by the reveal. How do we continue? The ramped paranoia that becomes daily life. Petrified to exist beyond the safety of four walls inside we crumble. We fall apart. We die.

The question is, do we continue?

How do I push beyond the hurt and devastation to exist once more? Inside I am broken. Can I continue? An echo of the end becomes a melodic failure flawed by selfishness. In death I drift. The melody carries me above and beyond. Fly free.

What is left of you?

Losing control of your desire your hope is fleeting and you can’t abstain. You fall behind. You fade. You’re a memory. Just like me...

Tell me now, where is your secret taking you?

Deleria

Time has passed yet even a word from you and my life turns upside down. The more I think. The stronger I feel. The more I hurt. Solace is found in closed minds as behind these eyes hide deceipt and lies that stem from you. I cant let you go no matter how I try. Scared. Hurt. Alone? Yes I am all but nothing without you.

Something new and like a child I forget. For now it seems endless but not as I've experienced.

You seem different. Too different. Mismatched?

Your not to blame ...

Affirmation

Shattered. Like a million pieces. Each shard a reflection of my past cutting like daggers to my heart. Hopelessness. The one. The only, gone forever? How I wish things were different how I wish you'd be mine. My feelings for you. Unchanging. Undying. How I long to tell you these feelings. Fear... Feelings unmet? Undesired? Unreciprocal?...

Feelings aside are rested in logistics. I care not about logic. I care not about distance.

A kiss that had sealed my fate. Trapped.

Gravity

Released. That kiss it’s feeling lingering ... everlasting. Seventy-seven... The days age and so do I. Its existence looming. Theres not enough. It’s precious. What of the future? Everything fades... Will your memory? Dry your eyes... your voice reprimanding. Time will tell us. Care not about the past ... Care only about this moment and what is left... I’m pulled to your feet. I have fallen.

Transfiguration Part II

Salvation has found me. Reprieve no longer my enemy. Freedom as blissful as I’d only dreamt as if those dreams themselves dispersed into reality. Like the war on terror the idea of battle was imaginary. It all started with a kiss... That sealed our fate. It's lingering hold. I cannot forget.
Do people lie behind closed doors? Those thoughts projected not the intention imposed? In time all shall be revealed. But for now... Imago. My final stage has been reached and my potential limitless

Transfiguration Part I

Anticipation draws us ever closer to the battle's forefront. Digression strays us. Wave goodbye to whom you thought you knew. Waves of emotion create fear in the unknown and a struggle to continue forth. There’s one constant. The kiss that has awakened me. I'm now exposed with one option remaining. IF it is indeed our true self we crave to release from our internal prison then why does such desire not overcome our fear? Why do we hide in the comfort of the known? Like a kiss will it take away my world - the one's I love? Evidently the days are passing and I can hear the battalion approaching. The travesty. Steadily I approach grenade in hand.

Do I pull the pin? Will love prevail?